yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think a kid would responsible me up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
