worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
