I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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