I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
