i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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