So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
