ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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