I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
