You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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