I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
