can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
