I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
