Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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