why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
