Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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