u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize