Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
