i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
