Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
