I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
