Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
