Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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