Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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