Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
