Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
