Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
