i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
