how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
