I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize