no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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