You really coming over, don't trick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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