oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize