I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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