how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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