It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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