Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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