I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
