Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dick has a subreddit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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