I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
