I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
