He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
