I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
