I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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