Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
