Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
