I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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