i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
