I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
honey bunches of taint.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
