remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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