The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
