I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
