okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize