We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
