Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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