I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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