This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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