At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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