My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
