it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
