i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
