We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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