It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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