Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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