I can tuck mytits in my pants
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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