i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
