Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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